Figuring Out Your Joy

I have been on this path for many years but just recently changed directions.  By this I mean that for years I have felt a desire and pulling me to do more with my inner spirituality; finding my path in life.  I was married to a wonderful man for thirty three (33) years but one day it was not enough.

I had felt for years that I was meant to do more with my life and have experiences I currently did not.  When I changed my direction I thought I had everything figured out.  I had a great job and only needed to stay put another eight years but if possible I wanted to stay another eleven so it would increase my social security.  However, when you start delving into your inner desires and truly listen to the soft nudges of your soul you may not like what you hear.

Like I said I thought everything was planned out in my life and I was prepared to live life the way I wanted and experience all the things I could not earlier in life.  I planned my first vacation this year and took a group trip to the New England area.  It was beautiful!  I had so much fun except the bus ride; it was unbearable after a few days and the rush from place to place was not what I wanted on a vacation.  But, I did it and had my first desired experience for myself.

When I returned to work I was given my letter of layoff.  It devastated me because I thought I was doing everything right and all was going to work out perfectly and just as I planned my life to be; uneventful from hardships and worry.  I was without a job from June to October but stayed positive and continued to read about finding my happiness.  During this time I also felt I knew what I wanted and prayed, meditated and desired to find a position that was easy to go to each day that will pay my bills and allow me to live the life I wanted; being able to have enough left to travel the way I wanted and enjoy life.  Again, I was surprised when I was offered a job that was $30,000 less than the one I just left.

I knew this job was not going to give me what I wanted but I let fear control me instead of my soul and inner heart.  The fear that all my savings were gone and I did not want to lose my home and everything I worked so hard for.  I realized right away how it made me feel inside, the dread of going to this place everyday.  I began to feel it on the outside as well as on the inside; it was draining the positive out of me.  I continued to read about controlling your life and I truly believe that we are all the creator of our own experiences but here on  earth it is very hard to stay focused with your ego and mind telling you that what you feel is not logical so you must protect yourself.

Every thought, feeling and spoken word that we experience causes a change in our life.  We are forces of energy and as we feel, speak and act it creates shifts in our energy field.  That is why it is so important to take your time, be still and quiet so you can hear your heart.  Your heart is connected to your soul and will guide you through this life if you only listen and stop trying to use your head.

I allowed my head which is controlled by my mind and logic make my life choice and now I see how dramatic a change it is.  I love life and know without a doubt that we are all here to experience love, happiness and joy.  Not hardship, pain and illness!  But we must be careful when making decisions in life because you cannot expect to have all the joy and happiness in life when you allow fear to guide you.  You MUST have faith that your life will be all you desire it to be and it will.  Even though I was without a job for those months I had such joy in my life.  I enjoyed everyday reading and having the pleasures in life I desired.

Now, I know some of you saying that you can’t live without funds to pay your bills, eat and have a roof over your head and you are right.  This world is a material world but what I said in another post about finding your enough is very true.  Quit worrying about how everything is going to come together and let it be.  Let God take control and lead you in a direction that you never thought possible.  My mind tells me I must stay with this job until I get something better so I can pay my mortgage, eat, etc.  But I am so unhappy there.  But I am going to let all the worry go and accept the situation I am in, release all the fear and let nature take its course for me.  I will trust my heart as I hear it say that something is coming my way; a better job, an easier life.

Remember, you are the creator of your own reality and if you don’t like what you see in your life, change the way your act, feel and speak and see what life gives you back.

I wish all of you joy and happiness filled with a lifetime of love.